Local Color to Burn by Charley Wood

  All-Story Weekly, July 10, 1920

  LTHOUGH Captain Jericho and his

  “Only one,” replied the editor as he

  Mate Handy did not know it, they

  held up an envelope which he was about to

  A were to be directly concerned in a return to its sender. “Rottenest of the rotten—

  decision which Theodore Hesper, director of

  pirate subject.”

  Superart Pictures, made when he got out of the

  “Pirates!” ejaculated the director.

  wrong side of bed one morning in the late

  “That’s just the kind of a subject I want. The springtime and decided to change the general minute you said the word ‘pirate’ I was

  running of things. The director had run across startled, and that’s the way it will act on the a bit of nautical verse the evening before, and public. Get me?”

  besides bothering him during the night, it was He sank into a chair and ran over the

  still running in his head when he awoke in the erstwhile rejection with a rapid eye. At the end morning.

  of the last page he flung it on the editor’s desk and sprang to his feet.

  Said the captain to the cook.

  “Have Miss Freebler start on the

  As a hair he strove to hook,

  continuity right away, old topper,” he said,

  “I’ll lay a cat-o’-nine-tails

  with a slight return of his usual good humor.

  ‘Cross your bloomin’ yellow ’ide.”

  “I’ll come in and give her a few suggestions later.”

  Said the cook, “But you’ll be sorry,

  “The author wants five hundred for it,”

  Fer when Christmas comes to-morry

  demurred the editor.

  I’ll ’eave my plum duff recipee

  “I don’t care, I want the story,” quoth

  In the Roarin’ Forties tide!”

  the director over his shoulder as he left. “I’m going in to see Swiberg about it.”

  “Ha, ha,” grunted the director as he

  Aaron Swiberg, president of the

  stooped over to lace his shoes, “there’s an

  Superart Pictures Corporation, was seated in a inspiration for a picture that is different. Away leather-cushioned, mahogany swivel-chair

  with all the hokum and on with something that before a mahogany desk with a glass top, and will make ’em sit up and gasp!”

  between his teeth was a cigar of the same rich Upon arriving at the Superart offices

  shade as the office furnishings. Although the he went straight to the scenario department

  Superart concern might be termed a one-horse and asked the editor if he had any stories with affair as picture organizations go these days, it a sea locale.

  was by no means in financial distress. The

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  2

  room in which he sat was a room which few,

  don’t know how to make pictures, and I do.

  unless reasons were stated well and glibly,

  You’re only the president.”

  ever saw the inside of.

  The president banged huffily on his

  Theodore Hesper, being one of the mahogany desk.

  few, entered unannounced and seated himself

  “Don’t talk to me—don’t talk to me,”

  without ceremony. Owing to the fact that the he sputtered. “I don’t throw no five thousand personnel of Superart was small he had few

  in the fire for what you call local color.”

  officials to fight with and was used to taking

  “You either do or I quit,” returned the

  things in his own hands. Besides, both his

  director as he assumed a nonchalant air “You name and Mr. Swiberg’s were attached to a

  know Sublime Films has offered to double my

  contract that had two years to run before salary and pay you what the court grants you expiration, and neither cared to be the if I go over to them. Suit yourself.”

  defendant in a suit brought by the other.

  As he finished he went toward the

  Therefore, although they wrangled now and

  door. The president threw up his arms in

  then over a subject, they always agreed in the despair and called him back.

  end.

  “What are you going away mad for?”

  “I want to do a special, Swiberg,” he asked. “Ain’t I always given you began Hesper. “I’m ahead of the regular production money without a kick. If you got to program and I want to do a pirate story that’ll have five thousand to burn up—why go ahead

  make everybody sit up and gasp. I tell you the and burn and have it over.”

  public and the exhibitors are tired of society

  “Best investment you ever made,” said

  and Chinatown hokum—they want something

  the director as he seized the phone from the different. I want to get away from the usual, president’s desk. “Publicity-desk. Hello, Joe—

  run my name big on all paper, and give ’em a will you get out a big story right away, like a punch that’ll make Superart a household good boy, about how Swiberg has seen the word.”

  writing on the wall and will go to any expense

  “How

  much’ll

  it

  cost?” asked the to produce a picture that’s unusual—he thinks president.

  the public is tired of this modern hokum and is

  “We’ve got to find a place that looks

  ripe for a costume play. Jazz it up, you know.

  like a southern ocean, stick in a palm-tree

  Working title is ‘The Pirate’s Bride,’ and Miss netting, pay five hundred for the story, and Faire will star. Forget the Irish beauty stuff probably about five thousand for a ship that and have her have a Castillon ancestor, will will have to be burnt and blown up.”

  you? She plays a Spanish girl in this. Miss

  “Five thousand dollars to burn!” Freebler’s got the script. All right, by-by.”

  squealed Swiberg.

  As the director hung up the receiver

  “It’s got to be done for color or the

  Hank Frayne, his assistant director, and

  story will fall flat. You can’t make pictures for George Stodd, Superart’s star heavy, strolled nothing.”

  in. The director immediately informed them of

  “You don’t get no five thousand from

  his new picture plans.

  me to burn up,” asserted the president.

  “You’ll be cast for the pirate captain,

  “You’re blame right I do,” answered

  George,” he added. “A nice, big, juicy part.”

  the director as he rose to his feet and

  “Wait a minute,” said Hank. “Where

  registered anger. “Remember, I was making

  you going to get this ship to blow up?”

  pictures fourteen years before you bought

  “Amityville’s about the best place, I

  your way into the field. Although you may

  guess,” said the director after some

  know how to run a cloak and suit shop you

  consideration. “One of those old boats that

  Local Color to Burn

  3

  take out parties is the thing. And for the They paused to admire them. They noted their pirates we’ll get the crew of a deep-sea ship—

  dilapidated caps, which sat with an aggressive no actors—sailors, see?”

  one-sidedness over faces wh
ich suggested the

  “All right,” said Hank, “but don’t let

  color and toughness of raw ham, and the

  any of those old Amityville boys know you

  bristling whiskers which thrust themselves out want to buy a ship to blow up or you’ll never over neckerchiefs carelessly and picturesquely get one. I know those old barnacle backs.

  knotted about their necks. They saw the bell-They think more of their old tubs than a hen bottom effect of their trousers which rung over does of her chicks.”

  old-time leather sea-boots, patched and

  “Then we’ll buy it without letting ’em

  mended now, but capable of registering a

  know we’re going to blow it up,” countered

  wisked imprint if used right.

  the director. “As long as you know ’em you

  Artistic impulse swept over the

  can put the deal over and we’ll take Mr.

  director and he was about to approach them

  Swiberg right along so he can write a check

  when Hank held him back. So they conducted

  and pay on the spot.”

  a subrosa inquiry instead and were gratified to That is how Captain Abel Jericho and

  learn that the pair were the owners of the

  his mate, Mr. Adam Handy, although they

  schooner they had picked.

  knew nothing whatever about motion-pictures,

  “Let me show you how to handle this,”

  became actively engaged in the making of

  advised Hank as he approached them.

  one. They were co-owners of the two-masted

  “Shoot,” said Hesper.

  schooner Starshine, and had a history which

  “Look there, fellows,” said Hank to the

  fully explained their close companionship at director and Swiberg, as he pointed directly at their present stage of life. They had done most the Starshine and made sure her owners could of their early seafaring life before the mast in hear him. “There’s a real craft for you. Look square riggers, leaving steam navigation for how her beautiful lines make those other craft the class of seamen they called “deckhands.”

  around her look like washtubs in the middle of They had lived as frugally as possible

  a Monday morning! She’s the only real

  between cruises, Captain Jericho having lived sailorman’s ship in the lot!”

  just a little more frugally than Mate Handy, Captain Jericho nudged his mate and

  and they reached the pinnacle they had been

  his mate nudged him as they turned to give the working for when they bought the Starshine.

  speaker a closer appraisal.

  Captain Jericho owned three-quarters of her

  “There’s the first lubber I ever seen

  and the mate owned the remaining quarter.

  that knows anything,” said the captain.

  As for the Starshine, she was no more

  “I wonder who owns her,” continued

  spring-chickenesque than her owners. In fact, Hank.

  she had an air of antiquity about her which

  “Right here is her owners,” spoke up

  commanded the attention of the director and

  Captain Jericho as he removed an ancient clay Hank even in the conglomeration of craft pipe shaped like a powder-horn from his which filled the harbor. They picked her as

  mouth and rose. “ You’re the first landlubber I they advanced down the pier toward the spot

  seen for many a year with brains in your truck.

  where her captain and mate sat dangling their Lead out your hand till I shake it.”

  boots over the water. Mr. Swiberg also picked

  “You’re the kind of sailorman I

  her, but for mercenary reasons.

  thought owned a ship like that,” said Hank as

  “There’s two old salt types for you,”

  he strove to keep from flinching from the

  commented the director as he indicated the

  Samsonian grip of the captain. “What’s her

  pair. “They don’t need a stroke of makeup.”

  name?”

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  4

  “Starshine, ” spoke up the mate, “give we’ll have the sailin’ of her, anyhow. We had her a fair wind and a full set o’ rags and she’ll owners wunst and we kin stand it agin fer that make any craft in this here harbor look like an money.”

  Erie Canal hooker.”

  “Let’s go and have a bill of sale made

  “How would you like to get her in the

  out right away,” said the director, who now

  movies and let everybody see what a real,

  thought he saw the way clear to his

  honest-to-goodness, seagoing sail-craft looks masterpiece and intended to have a hand in

  like?” asked Hank. “We’re movie people.”

  everything so that there would be no slips

  The captain and mate hesitated, for

  made. A short time later Mr. Swiberg was in

  they remembered having seen a picture once

  possession of a receipted bill of sale, which he with alleged ships and sailors in it and they did not want, and the erstwhile owners of the were not certain that they cared to have the Starshine were in possession of a five-Starshine’s name linked with the seamanship thousand-dollar check.

  they had seen.

  Hesper then explained to the captain

  “We ain’t anxious to trust our craft,

  and mate that he expected a carload of

  what we thinks as much of as we do our

  artificial palms in on the morrow, and the

  mothers,” said the captain, “to some o’ these crew of a freighter which was laid up for

  actors we’ve seen dressed in sailor clothes.”

  repairs, and who would work as well as take

  “You won’t have to,” quickly put in

  the part of pirates.

  the director. “Our idea is to let you handle the

  “I know the place for you,” said

  ship yourself while we take pictures. Besides, Captain Jericho as he grew interested in the we’ll buy her if you’ll sell her.”

  working out of the thing. She’s a dangerous

  “What do you expect to use her for?”

  place to get in and out, but there ain’t no better asked Mate Handy.

  place to make look like a tropic island.”

  “Just to cruise around and take pictures

  “He means Horse-Tail Reefs,” put in

  with,” answered the director, glibly, and Mate Handy. “I run them shallows many a mentally asked forgiveness.

  time. I kin help you make them palms look

  “What’s your price?” asked the natural, too. I was in the tropics in 1861 and captain.

  again in 6—”

  “Two thousand five hundred,” spoke

  “I was in the tropics in 1861 and agin

  up Mr. Swiberg before he could be prevented.

  in 1874,” interrupted the captain. “We’ll show Hesper and his assistant glared at him

  you how them palms sets.”

  from both flanks, and the owners looked as if The director and his assistant felt a

  they were about to smite him down.

  twinge of shame as they observed this

  “Five

  thousand

  dollars on the spot,”

  enthusiasm and thought of the calamity which said Hank quickly, in an effort to save the day.

  was to happen to the Starshine.

  The owners started at this extensive rise in the The next day the crew that the director

  price. It was more than they had paid for her, had hired came aboard and the properties were and she was fairly aged when they bought her.

  loaded. Although the erstwhile owners were


  Now she was ten years older. But they seemed old at the seafaring game they were more than to feel a grip about their hearts as they thought once astounded at the relics of archaism which of irreverent hands handling her rigging and came aboard. There were old, muzzle-loading

  careless owners trodding her decks. Yet, deck cannon, slave-irons, cutlasses, money was money.

  blunderbusses and flint lock-pistols, chests,

  “I vote we let the old girl go fer that

  grappling-irons, dynamite, tar, ammunition,

  price, skipper,” said Mate Handy, “as long as and a deck load of artificial palms.

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  5

  These aboard, the schooner was run

  anchor was dropped, and everything was made

  out to Horse-Tail Reefs, and under the ready for the taking of the first scene.

  direction of Hank, who also acted as location About a mile off the starboard quarter

  director, the palms were put up with goodly

  lay the strip of sand with the palms waving in effect by the freighter’s crew. This took most the breeze, just back of them, blue to the

  of a day, and in the late afternoon the horizon, rolled the ocean with the hot morning schooner was run back to Amityville, and

  sun glaring on it, all of which helped to lend a Hank took the freighter’s crew to be costumed composite land and sea scape of a fair tropical at the studio and return in the morning.

  order. But all about, so that the Starshine was Shortly after sunrise the next morning

  virtually surrounded by them, jagged rocks

  the company arrived at the dock in a touring-stuck their noses up out of the rolling seas car and a bus, the latter containing the while big breakers rolled and thundered freighter’s crew in piratical costumes. The angrily over them.