Snatchers Are Suckers by Robert C Read online

  Black Book Detective, March, 1942

  Chauffeur Casey Wades Through a Vicious Kidnap Ring and Lets His Yellow Boss Cop the Glory—but Does All Right for Himself. Too!

  , DENNIS CORNELIUS CASEY, am not

  announced.

  the brightest ™ guy in the world but I can Mortimer was annoyed. Mortimer was

  I take a hint when it hits me between the almost always annoyed. I think he was born eyes like a caveman’s club. So when a surly that way—annoyed because the silver spoon growl answered me through the cracked door, in his mouth wasn’t platinum. His old man saying, “Scram, fella! There’s no phone here!”

  runs a flock of newspapers and Mortimer is a and the door slammed in my face, I went right big shot in the enterprise. But the old man back to Mortimer.

  does all the work. Mortimer spends the

  “They have no phone, sir,” I money.

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  2

  “Nonsense!” he snapped with that sinister.

  superior tone of his.

  “Do you hear anything?” whispered

  For two years, I had been his Mortimer.

  chauffeur, and for two years I had resisted the

  “No. Very quiet folks. No lights,

  urge to poke his elegant puss every time he either. I think they are watching us from gave out with his superior, annoyed behind those shutters.”

  “Nonsense!” I told myself that a moment’s Mortimer started to say, “Nonsense!”

  ecstasy wasn’t worth a steady thirty bucks a but the sudden, incongruous jangle of a

  week.

  telephone startled us both. Light immediately

  “They must have a phone,” said filtered through the shutters, and the ringing Mortimer. “See the wires?”

  was cut off as the receiver was lifted.

  I saw the wires. They were just visible

  “See!”

  said

  Mortimer. “There’s

  against the darkening sky. Night was coming nothing wrong with that phone!”

  in a hurry. The lonely gray road disappeared I

  shrugged.

  into purplish haze at both ends. Sandy scrub

  “I still think we ought to wait on the

  land to the west glowed faintly under a smoky road for a car to come along. There’s

  sunset. The ocean was on the east—nothing something phony about this place. The man but the ocean, half-swallowed in the murk of gave me the impression that—”

  dusk.

  “Nonsense!” interrupted Mortimer. He

  It was a heckuva spot for the car to

  walked across the rickety porch and knocked quit, but that’s how it is with these expensive loudly on the door. He seemed very brave, but foreign jobs. They’re not at all considerate I knew he wasn’t, because, when nobody

  like a Lincoln or a Cadillac, which can be answered his first knock, he beckoned me depended upon to break down near a garage—

  closer before he knocked again.

  at least within airplane distance of some spare Finally, the door cracked open as it

  parts that will fit.

  had for me.

  “Maybe their phone is not connected,”

  “Whaddaya’ want?” snarled that

  I ventured.

  heavy, ugly voice.

  “Nonsense!” said Mortimer. “You just

  “I would like to use your telephone for

  didn’t know how to ask them. I’ll do it just a moment,” said Mortimer, unabashed by myself!” He threw an annoyed glance at the the apparent hostility. “My car has broken big, useless car and me and started for the down. I’d like to call a garage in the next shack.

  town.”

  IT was a crummy little place. You

  “Wait a minute.”

  wouldn’t think the tenants could afford a The door closed. Mortimer looked at

  telephone. The shack was all alone—there me. I shrugged. The door opened wide, and a wasn’t another building for miles.” It was man and a woman stared out at us.

  located halfway between the road and the I couldn’t see their faces clearly

  water. To reach it, you had to tightrope a because the light was behind them. The man narrow plank across the roadside ditch.

  was long and lanky. The woman was tall too.

  Mortimer negotiated the plank with me

  She had a loose mop of yellow hair.

  steadying the end of it. We stopped and

  “Okay,” growled the man. “Come in

  studied the shack.

  and phone, but make it snappy!”

  I didn’t like it. In the dimness of fading

  “Thanks,”

  murmured

  Mortimer,

  daylight the scabby window shutters looked stepping past them into the room. I eased in

  Snatchers Are Suckers

  3

  also, before the guy could close the door. I The bony blonde flicked nervous blue eyes at would rather have stayed outside, but I was the davenport.

  supposed to be a bodyguard as well as a

  Again there was a weak moan. The

  chauffeur.

  blankets moved. A corner fell away, and I got a glimpse of auburn hair and a pretty face. The THE room was just what I expected — dirty blonde hurried to the davenport. I grabbed and barely furnished. A rickety table held a Mortimer’s arm.

  new pack of playing cards, a half-bottle of

  “Let’s go,” I urged, trying to sound

  bourbon and a couple of glasses. An old, casual.

  brass-poster bed shared the remaining space But Mortimer had seen that face, too.

  with a frayed davenport.

  He was too shocked to pretend he hadn’t.

  On the davenport was what, at first

  “Barbara!” he gasped. “Barbara

  glance, I thought was only a heap of blankets.

  Stevens!”

  But as Mortimer walked across the room to The guy with the scar slammed the

  the telephone, the blankets moved, and I heard door and pulled out an automatic at the same a moan. Mortimer stopped.

  time.

  “That’s my sister!” said the gal with

  “What’s Miss Stevens doing here?”

  the frowzy yellow hair. “She’s sick!”

  demanded Mortimer of the blonde.

  “Oh!” Mortimer glanced curiously at

  “I

  insist—”

  the blankets as he picked up the phone.

  The guy shoved his gun against

  The couple watched Mortimer, and I

  Mortimer’s ribs, and Mortimer closed his watched the couple. The man’s lean face mouth abruptly to keep his heart from jumping needed a shave, except for a two-inch crescent out.

  on his right cheek where an old scar showed

  “Never mind about Barbara,” grated

  white in the middle of black beard. His stringy the guy. “You can start worrying about

  hair was oily and uncombed. His eyes were yourself! Who are you? How come you know like dull black marbles. He fished out a pack her?”

  of cigarettes, selected and lit one and never Mortimer wasn’t annoyed now. He

  took those eyes off Mortimer.

  was scared stiff, fingertips pointing at the low The woman glanced my way a couple

  ceiling.

  of times. She was almost as frayed-looking as

  “I’m Mortimer Allenby,” he gulped. “I

  the davenport. She was skinny. Too much

  know Barbara Stevens through her family.

  cheap rouge emphas
ized the boniness of her Same beach club. What are you—”

  coarse face. She might have been pretty, ten THE guy pushed Mortimer into a

  years ago.

  chair. He waved the gun at me, and I, too, Mortimer got Information, Information

  grabbed a seat.

  got Mortimer a number and Mortimer finally

  “Didn’t you clucks know she was

  got a garage. As soon as the call was finished, snatched yesterday?” asked Scarface.

  the guy held open the door.

  We shook our heads. The guy raised

  “Wait outside,” he said.

  an incredulous eyebrow.

  “Of course,” assented Mortimer.

  “We’ve been on a fishing trip,”

  “Thanks for the use of your phone, old man.”

  explained Mortimer as if he were afraid the He went through his pockets for change.

  gun would pop if he didn’t make everything

  “That’s okay,” said the guy clear. “The radio was out of order, and we impatiently. “You don’t owe me anything.”

  haven’t seen a paper since we left the boat.”

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  4

  “When did you leave the boat?”

  there later.”

  “An hour ago.”

  He gently replaced the receiver.

  “Where?”

  “We’re leaving,” he announced.

  “At my cottage north of Bellport.”

  “Going on a little boat trip.”

  “Where were you going?”

  “What about my car?” asked

  “To New York, until the car stopped

  Mortimer.

  and this happened.

  “That’s why we’re leaving.”

  “What—?”

  Lou stepped to the bed, reached under

  “Were you expected any place a pillow and pulled out another automatic.

  tonight?”

  Now he and his girl-friend each had a gun.

  “No.”

  I wouldn’t have tried anything even if

  “How come you were off the main

  Mortimer hadn’t been too scared to help.

  highway?”

  The blonde waved hers at me.

  Mortimer looked imploringly at me.

  “Okay, big boy,” she said in a flinty

  “I wanted to make time,” I said. monotone. “You got muscles. You can carry

  “There’s hardly any traffic on this coast road.

  the debutante.”

  No trucks.”

  “It’s an honor,” I said.

  Scarface strolled to the davenport,

  “Don’t try to be funny,” growled Lou.

  keeping the gun aimed at me and my boss. I Barbara was apparently drugged, her

  heard the blonde say, “Quiet all day—only pert face strangely white. I hoped they hadn’t move out of her—had to happen now!”

  given her too much.

  The guy shrugged and handed the

  cannon to the blonde. She kept us covered I MOVED the ragged blankets. Bright beach while he picked up the phone and murmured a pajamas covered the sleeping beauty.

  number. He held that black-marble stare on Carefully, I slid my arms under her.

  Mortimer.

  “Pick ’er up! Pick ’er up!” rasped the

  “Yeah, Midge, this is Lou again.... No,

  blonde. “She won’t break!”

  I didn’t forget anything.... No, don’t worry, Barbara didn’t weigh more than a

  Midge. Maybe this is good. A punk and his hundred fifteen, but she was limp and

  chauffeur just dropped in. The punk’s name is awkward to handle. A man, I would have

  Mortimer Allenby—droopy looking twerp, hoisted over my shoulder. Her head rolled sandy hair, little red mustache, talks with a disturbingly when I lifted her.

  kind of a English accent.... Oh, you know him!

  “Where do we go?” I snapped at Lou.

  ... Newspapers? That’s no good, eh? Shall I

  “Take it easy, flunkey!” Lou snapped

  bump ’em? ... I dunno. Wait a minute.”

  back. “Follow Hannah.”

  He scowled disgustedly at Mortimer

  The bony blonde who was called

  for a moment.

  Hannah led us outside through the rear door. It

  “Allenby, do you think your old man

  was quite dark now—a black night with no would pay fifty grand to get you back alive?”

  moon. There was the smell of the sea and the

  “Of course he would!” I butted in.

  soft thud of surf on the sheltered beach.

  Mortimer nodded vigorously.

  A low ramshackle pier stretched a

  “Yeah,” said Lou into the phone, hundred feet over the water.

  “Okay, you’ll send it right away. Anything

  “Watch where you walk,” ordered Lou

  new on the girl? ... Okay, but she’s a cute kid from the rear. “Some boards are missing.”

  just the same.... Okay, okay, I’ll do it. See you He lit a flashlight, but it didn’t help me

  Snatchers Are Suckers

  5

  because my burden prevented me from seeing

  “Long time. I’ve been faking. They

  where my feet were stepping.

  grabbed me yesterday morning, forced me into But I made it to the end of the pier. We a car and gave me the needle. I woke up last all did. Lou’s light picked out a mahogany-night in the shack, and they fed me a doped hulled speedboat. He prodded Mortimer.

  drink, but I managed to ditch most of it. All

  “You hop in first.”

  today, I kept my eyes closed and listened.”

  Mortimer hopped in.

  “Smart

  girl!”

  “Now hand the girl to him,” Lou

  “I heard plenty, but what good will it

  ordered.

  do? They’re going to kill me tonight!” She

  “I can make it,” I said. And I stepped

  said it without even a tremor in her voice.

  down into the bobbing boat without Barbara was no sissy.

  relinquishing Barbara.

  Next to me, Mortimer was shivering,

  “All right,” growled Lou. “But next

  too scared to open his mouth.

  time I tell you to do something, you do it my

  “Miss Barbara,” I said. “They won’t

  way. Understand?”

  kill you. Don’t worry.”

  “Sure. I’m just trying to be helpful.”

  “If dad can’t raise the money tonight,

  “You’re trying to be funny, and it’s

  they will.”

  gonna get you in trouble.”

  “He’ll raise it.”

  Lou cast off the lines. He and Hannah

  “Dad’s practically broke. Nobody

  got into the front seat. She faced aft, pointing knew. He can’t raise much.”

  her gun at us over the motor hatch cover. The

  “Don’t worry. This party’s only

  starter whined. The motor coughed and beginning. Keep faking. We’ll surprise ’em roared. Lou headed the boat out to sea.

  when the right time comes.”

  Lou seemed to know where he was

  UNDER different circumstances, I could have going; I figured he was steering by the stars.

  enjoyed that ride. The throbbing motor lifted Soon he cut the motor, and the boat idled to a the boat high. Spray was a white spinning low dark blot of an island. Barbara and I wall, and occasional drops flew against my stopped talking.

  face.

  “Where are we?” blurted Mortimer.

  The bundle I tenderly embraced was

  “Shut up!” hissed Hannah.

  no longer limp. Barbara was conscious. I The boat bumped ge
ntly against a

  knew it when I carried her from the shack into small, makeshift dock. Lou scrambled out and darkness.

  hitched the lines.

  Now, her lips were against my ear; her

  “All out!” he ordered. “End of the

  quick breath tickled my eardrums.

  line.”

  “Hello, Dennis,” she murmured.

  “I don’t like that ‘end of the line’ stuff,” I

  “Hello, Miss Barbara. I didn’t hand

  muttered.

  you over to Mortimer. I was afraid he’d drop It was only a few uneven steps from

  you.”

  the crude dock to an equally makeshift hut.

  “Thanks. You’re safer, Dennis.”

  Hannah went in first and lit a kerosene lamp.

  I took time out to grin. Barbara had

  The yellow light threw eerie shadows on

  once dated my boss. He had made a pass at driftwood walls. The room was damp and

  her—to his immediate regret. I wondered if smelled of decay. A shabby couch occupied that was what she meant.

  the far wall. As I carried Barbara to it, the

  “How long have you been awake?”

  floor’s rotten wood crumbled under my feet.

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  6