When Oscar Went Wild by W Read online

  with that hunk uh meat. Let’s go out and see but a rasping, spitting, clawing chunk of what he’s doin’.”

  deviltry, and Ren shut the door just in time. It They walked around the shed but were

  caught Oscar at the flank and for a few

  unable to size up their catch, as the shed had seconds the air was full of cougar cuss words.

  no windows. They could hear a sniffling at the Sig advanced cautiously and managed

  cracks of the door and suddenly a heavy body to get one rope over its head and pulled the was flung against it, but the heavy bar on the noose tight. He handed that rope to Ren, who outside held it fast.

  immediately proceeded to forget that he was

  “Want to go inside and look him there to keep the door tight. He grabbed the over?” queried Ren.

  rope with both hands, braced himself for the

  “Not in his present state uh mind, I

  rush and unthinkingly stepped away from the don’t. That cat is shore some irritated and door.

  when they gits fussed thataway they’re plumb There was a heave and a flash and the

  informal. How do yuh reckon we’re goin’ to cougar sailed over Sig’s head and out to the acquire his carcass fer shipment?”

  end of that rope. Ren was partly braced for the

  “Might git some uh that movie outfit to

  shock but didn’t figure on the velocity of the come up and git him,” suggested Ren, but Sig animal, and when the shock came he went

  promptly vetoed it.

  straight up in the air and off across the

  “And have that beautiful lady think

  clearing.

  Adventure

  6

  Luckily he lit running and hung on to

  “Hang onto th’ door, Sig, while I takes

  the rope, and he and the cougar went down the uh board off th’ wall and attacks him from hill, over stumps and through the thickets like behind. You jist keep on squeezin’ him and a spitting, yelling, yellow comet with a human I’ll tie him up.”

  tail.

  Ren got the hammer and removed a board.

  They

  had

  traveled

  thus for about two

  The cougar objected at the top of its voice, but hundred yards when the cougar went on one in a few minutes Ren had it trussed up and side of a tree and Ren on the other. They tied off to a rafter.

  almost met on the big swing. The cat flipped They went into the cabin, boiled a pot

  upside down over a log while Ren almost

  of coffee and had a smoke.

  completed the circle, only stopping when he

  “Well, we don’t know which is Oscar,

  threw his arms around a tree and hung on. He but I reckon Miss Reynolds can pick him out,”

  still held the rope and had presence of mind remarked Ren.

  enough left to proceed to tie that cat up good

  “Said she’d love me if I got him,”

  and tight. The cougar had choked itself nearly grinned Sid, “and I’ve got him.”

  to death trying to come up under the log and

  “Yore hearin’ is on uh par with yore

  Ren had little trouble in tying its hind legs so brains,” drawled Ren. “She said ‘us,’ and it was helpless.

  what’s more, Siggie, you ain’t got him— I’ve He rolled a smoke and hobbled back to

  got him. Sabe? I risked my whole danged life the cabin. He wondered in a detached sort of to git her that cougar. You can put yore way what had become of Sig and why he

  location notice on that one in th’ shed, but not didn’t help him hold it, but as he walked on Oscar. He’s mine, located, filed and

  around the cabin he heard Sig’s voice patented.”

  imploring him to:

  “Is that so!” exploded Sig. “I’m here to

  “Hurry up, fer Gawd’s sake!”

  orate that it was my scheme which caught it!

  “What’s th’ matter?” asked Ren.

  All you did was to hang on to th’ rope and, not

  “Come over here you danged fool!”

  bein’ overly strong nor active, you permits wailed Sig. “Can’t yuh see I can’t hold this that li’l cat to haul yuh around, regardless.

  door much longer!”

  And now yuh opines that yuh owns Oscar. Not

  “Hold th—what—why, I’ll be danged!

  any yuh don’t!

  Where did yuh git it, Sig?”

  “I don’t care if yuh did tear yore

  “Grab hold uh this door! How do I

  pants,” he continued. “If yuh can’t take care of know where I got it? When you and Oscar

  yoreself don’t blame me. I’ve shore treated paraded off down th’ hill I sees uh pair uh yuh white, Ren Merton, and now yuh turns eyes shinin’ in there and I jist slams th’ door and bites th’ hand which feeds yuh!”

  in time to catch his neck. Gosh, ain’t he a

  “Bites yore hand!” snorted Ren,

  sassy-lookin’ animule, Ren? Where’s Oscar?”

  shaking his forefinger under Sig’s nose.

  “Hog-tied to uh log,” mumbled Ren.

  “Listen: any time I starts bitin’ you won’t

  “At least I got uh cougar tied to th’ log—I confine yore diagnosis to hands, old timer. I didn’t ask his name. I wonder how two of ‘em orates openly that as soon as daylight comes got in at oncet, and which is Oscar?”

  I’m goin’ down and make uh crate and

  “This ain’t Oscar,” stated Sig with prepare Oscar fer shipment. Sabe? I ain’t conviction. “No house variety of cougar concern-in’ myself about that cat in th’ shed would” have uh face and uh disposition like and hereby waives all rights to him, but I duly this one, Ren.”

  informs all present company that I’m uh close

  When Oscar Went Wild

  7

  corporation when it comes to li’l’ Oscar. Let’s Ren lifted his head and looked at Sig.

  go to bed.”

  “Pickled prairie-dogs!” he groaned.

  “Not with you!” snarled Sig. “I’ll take

  “What happened to you? Did you—huh—

  uh blanket and go out in th’ woods or sleep in turn Oscar loose?”

  th’ shed with th’ cougar. I hereby refuses to

  “After seven years uh hard fightin’ and

  share yore bed and I does it without malice in hardships I manages to break his holt,”

  m’ heart. You grieves me deeply, Mr. Merton, declared Sig dismally. “I’m jist uh walkin’

  and I’m sore at heart and meek-feelin’.”

  hunk uh Hamburger steak, Ren, and I feels

  “Hop to it!” grunted Ren, as he rolled

  that when I removes my clothes I’ll be no into the bunk and stretched wearily. “Don’t go more. That cat jist simply prospected every near Oscar ’cause I reckon he’s fond uh meek piece uh meat on my frame. In my war-sack things.”

  under th’ bunk there’s uh roll uh stickin’

  Sig took a blanket and went out, closing the plaster. You wrap me up and I’ll do th’ same door softly. As the door closed, Ren slid out of fer you, Ren. I’ve done played my last joke—

  his bunk and peered out of the window. He absolutely. I suppose th’ shed is empty?”

  chuckled as he saw Sig wander off into the

  “Uh ha,” nodded Ren. “I’m

  trees, and he sat up and rolled a smoke and apologizin’, Sig.”

  seemed to ponder deeply. Suddenly he slapped

  “Aw, Ren, I reckon misery likes

  his leg and pinched out the light of his company.”

  cigarette.

  “Well,” drawled Ren, “she’s got it.”

  “By golly!” he chuckled, “won’t Sig

  Half an hour later, with adhesive

  go high, wide and handsome?”

  plaster covering most of t
heir bodies they laid THE first tinge of morning showed in

  down on the bunk and rolled more cigarettes.

  the east when Ren slipped out of the cabin and

  “I wonder which one was Oscar?” mused Sig approached the shed. Ten minutes later a aloud, but Ren was deep in thought and made tawny figure glided out of the open shed and no answer.

  bounded off into the underbrush. Five minutes Finally Ren drew a deep breath and

  later an apparition in rags stumbled out of the turned to Sig.

  shed and leaned uncertainly against the wall.

  “Them movie people take big chances,

  “Mama mine!” it mumbled. “I must be

  don’t they? Jist think about uh girl playin’

  uh sight. Them danged things won’t go away with Oscar. Tame? Say, I shore hope I never when yuh gives ’em uh chance. I shore am meets uh wild cougar, Sig. That animule shore scratched some artistic.”

  put his trade-mark on me.”

  He staggered into the cabin and

  Just then there came a clatter of

  painfully removed his torn clothing. He tore horse’s hoofs outside and Sig limped over to up some of the shirt for bandages, but there the closed door.

  was too much space to cover and he was

  “Hello!” yelled a voice, which they

  awfully tired. He sat on the bunk as naked as both recognized as that of Norton, the movie the day he was born and fumbled for a director.

  cigarette, in the pockets he didn’t have on.

  “Hello, yoreself!” retorted Sig. “We’re takin’

  “Well, I’ll be teetotally —— !” our mornin’ bath and can’t come out.”

  exclaimed Sig’s voice from the doorway but

  “That’s

  all

  right,”

  laughed Norton. “I

  Ren never looked up. “Come on and help me, just came up here to deliver a message to you Sig. I reckon I’m all cut to shoestrings.”

  from Miss Reynolds.”

  “You ain’t alone, Ren.”

  “What was it?” asked Sig quickly.

  Adventure

  8

  “She said for you boys not to worry

  reflected Norton as his horse picked it’s way about Oscar because he came back right after down the narrow trail. “Either they are sore or you left.”

  mighty ungentlemanly, because they never

  “Must be sore about something,” even said ‘thank you.’”