Tippecanoe and Cougars Two Read online

  with baking-powder.

  “You don’t have to wish,” says Tip.

  I reckon everybody except Aloysius

  “Wishin’ never got nobody some dogs.”

  and Tip felt the same about it. Aloysius puffed

  “I’ll rent my pack,” offers Mighty.

  up a little, but I can’t see much change in Tip.

  “There

  yuh

  are,”

  says Tip. “Mighty’s

  “Mighty” Jones rides in and looks over

  dogs will find animals if there is any.”

  the aggregation. He asks me and Magpie

  “I hired you as my guide,” reminds

  about them, and we tells him all we know.

  Aloysius. “As long as I’ve got you I have no

  “Goin’ to photygraft animiles?” he use for a pack of dogs.”

  asks. “On the run? Geemighty!”

  “Ah-oo-o-oo-o-o!” howls one of

  “Oh, absolutely,” says Aloysius. Mighty’s dogs, and away went the whole pack

  “Interests of science. I want pictures of wild down the side of the mountain.

  animals in their native haunts. Would it-be

  “What do yuhr reckon they’re after?”

  possible for—er—us to get pictures of asks Mighty.

  panthers, grizzly bear and—er—wildcats—

  “After?” grins Magpie, “Oh, nothing.

  uh—er—going about their daily—er—

  They’re insulted, that’s all.”

  pastimes, as it were?”

  One thing I can say for Mighty’s pack

  “As it were,” nods Mighty. “Not as it

  of dogs, they’re numerous. I reckon that he is.”

  figured that the more the merrier, and he sure

  Adventure

  10

  picked up everything of the dog kind which Washburn seem to lift right off the ground and had four legs, a tail, and a voice. They starts come backwards towards us at an enormous

  going just like a whip. For instance, the seven rate of speed. Aloysius gets hit, and goes past greyhounds leave first, then four or five fox-me and Magpie, spinning like a pin-wheel.

  hounds, then comes all breeds and mixtures, Something hits me a side-swipe and I goes

  the order of their going depending a heap on down only to come up amid a whooping,

  their powers of smell. “The last to leave is old howling, snapping bunch of dogs which

  “Whiskers,” a cross between everything swamp me, and I goes down again.

  doggish from a St. Bernard to a pink poodle.

  When I awoke, I feels some one

  Whiskers sniffles all the time and smells kissing me, and I looks up into the face of nothing. He’s the popper on the whip, that’s Whiskers. I shoves him away and sets up.

  the way they leaves. That conglomeration of There is Magpie, with his back braced

  animiles is enough to put the fear of the devil against the cabin door, digging his heels into into anything wilder than a fool-hen.

  the dirt to keep upright. Mum-maw is sitting We watches ’em go and, then listens to

  with her back against a wheel of the

  their voices fade out.

  automobile, while Bettina is sitting straddle of

  “In Europe,” says Lord Washburn, the engine-end of the machine, clapping her screwing his one-eyed spectacle into his eye, hands like she was encoring that bunch of

  “I would say they were on a warm scent.

  dogs, et cettery, to make another appearance.

  Perhaps it is a fox.”

  From the body of the machine appears

  “Fox ———!” grunts Mighty. “Them

  the head of Aloysius. He looks all around, pups won’t even look at a fox.”

  down at his better half and then at his

  “Ah-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!” comes the daughter.

  chorus, and we listens freely.

  “Stop applauding, Bettina!” he says,

  “Ah-oo-o-o-o-o-o-o!” she comes hoarse-like, and she looks foolish-like at him.

  again, and this time she’s a lot closer.

  Then he looks all around again.

  Me and Magpie looks at each other. It

  “I ask every one to cease cheering.”

  appears to us that the chase is coming down From on top of the cabin comes a

  the trail, and knowing that trail like we does, voice, and we looks up to see Tip, with one it’s almost a cinch that the procession is due to arm hooked around the ridge-pole and both

  come past the cabin.

  feet up on top of the cabin. He’s hanging on The trail swings around the side of the

  tight.

  cañon, and the hill drops straight off for a

  “Animiles!” he squeaks. “Said you’d

  danged long ways, and the upper side is see ’em, didn’t I? Didn’t I say you would?”

  almost unclimbable.

  Aloysius squints at Tip and nods.

  Lord Washburn walks past the

  “I did—a fleeting glimpse.”

  automobile and appears to squint up the trail,

  “Well, dang it, I didn’t agree to stop

  and Aloysius walks behind him. I steps over

  ’em, did I?”

  beside the cabin and Magpie joins me. Bettina

  “Heaven is my home!” gasps mum-

  and mum-maw joins the lord and pup-paw.

  maw. “What happened?”

  All to once the dogs’ voices swells to a

  “Nothing,” says Aloysius. “Nothing to

  joyful chorus as they make the curve above get excited about.”

  the cabin.

  “Wh-where is Lord Washburn?” gasps

  Bettina, all out of breath.

  THEN things begin to happen. I seen Lord

  “Ma’am,” says Magpie, “I ain’t

  Tippecanoe and Cougars Two 11

  making no definite statements; but if he stuck address.”

  on that silver-tip’s back, and if the silver-tip

  “They’re hard to ride,” nods Tip.

  can keep up has speed for ten minutes longer,

  “Danged hard.”

  Lord Washburn will be somewhere in

  “It enhances the difficulty if one is

  Canada.”

  riding backwards,” agrees Lord Washburn.

  “Well,” says I, watching Magpie “The—er—dogs——”

  digging his heels into the dirt, “that cabin

  “Say, where is Mighty Jones?” I asks.

  won’t fall down if you leave go of it, Magpie.”

  Magpie jerks his thumb behind him at

  “No, but the door will come open, the door.

  Ike.”

  “You don’t mean that he’s inside?” I gasps.

  “Oh!” says I. “It likely will, but that

  “He went in,” says Magpie, foolish-

  won’t hurt nothing.”

  like, “and he ain’t never come out—yet.”

  “Like —— it won’t.”

  “Wait a moment,” says Tip. “Lemme

  “Meaning

  what?”

  get this right. Two cougars went inside and

  “Both of them danged cougars went

  Mighty Jones went in after them? Mighty’s

  inside.”

  brave.”

  “Both —— cougars?” I gasped, and

  “No-o-o-o,” drawls Magpie. “Mighty

  Magpie nods.

  went in first; the cougars are brave!”

  “Uh-huh. I reckon them dogs got after

  “What might a cougar be?” asks mum-

  them two cougars, swung ’em on to the trail maw.

  where the silver-tip was pesticating along, and

  “A cougar?” parrots Tip. “A cougar

  the whole caboodle came to our party.” />
  is— a-a-a— naturalized African lion.”

  “I—have—shot—with—kings,”

  states

  “In the cabin?” asks Aloysius. “My

  a voice, and we turns to look at Lord chance has come! I will picturize it. Lord Washburn.

  Washburn, we will start our first film. This is He’s a mess. I reckon that silver-tip took him a very good opportunity.”

  for a sightseeing trip through a thorn thicket,

  “Told yuh I’d find animiles for yuh,”

  and he sure got shucked. He’s got a half a shirt grins Tip. “I sure can do guidin’, can’t I?

  left, and that ain’t connected with his pants,

  “Yes, I find you satisfactory,” grunts

  said pants consisting of a waistband and a lot Aloysius, wrestling with his photygraft

  of streamers. His stockings are pulled down apparatus.

  over his shoes and drag out behind as he

  He gets it out of the machine and sets

  walks.

  it up. It’s a three-legged dingus, and on top of But he’s still hanging on to that one

  it he fastens a box-like arrangement with a eyeglass. He weaves there in the trail and crank on the side.

  repeats his statement—

  “Hey!” yells Mighty’s voice from the

  “I—have—shot—with—kings.”

  inside. “Hey, out there!”

  “He, he, he, he!” squeaks Tip. “’Pears

  “No hay,” yells Tip. “Whatcha want?”

  to me that the king used a cross between a

  “Magpie!” yelps Mighty. “You going

  shotgun and a rake.”

  to let me out?”

  “Where is the bear?” asks Aloysius.

  “Unattended,” admits Magpie.

  Washburn screws his eyeglass tighter

  Just then a cougar cut loose a yowl you

  and licks his lips.

  could hear a mile. Aloysius stops fussing with

  “Bear?” he asks, dignified-like. his camera.

  “Really— er—I did not awsk it for an

  “Got ’em both!” whoops Mighty.

  Adventure

  12

  “Buck, dang yuh, buck!”

  Then he turns to me and says—

  “Both what?” squeaks Tip.

  “You will be my assistant.”

  “Got ’em roped!” whoops Mighty, and

  “Yeah?” says I. “What do I do?”

  our ears gets assailed by a lot of cat-talk which He places Magpie and Lord Washburn

  shows that them cats are sore.

  on one side and oh the other he puts Bettina,

  “Where are you located, Mighty?” mum-maw and Tip. In the middle is them, two asks Magpie.

  spitting cougars, and setting on the edge of the

  “On the bal-co-nee!” whoops Mighty.

  loft is Tippecanoe Seeley.

  We’ve got a little loft arrangement

  Aloysius peeks at them through the

  built at the rear of the cabin, where we keep camera and then loads the thing. He takes the our extra supplies; but it sure wasn’t built for dingus and pours it full of some kind of

  no Romeo and Juliet balcony scene.

  powder and hands if to me.

  “Got ’em roped on the same rope, “Hold that over your head,” says he. “Put your too,” brags Mighty. “Come in and have a

  finger into that ring and when I requests it of look.”

  you, pull down on it.”

  Magpie opens the door slow-like and

  I follers directions. Aloysius tells

  peers inside. Then he turns to Aloysius.

  everybody to stand perfectly still, and then

  “There’s your picture, mister.”

  says—

  We all crowds into the doorway. “Pull!”

  Mighty 1is setting on the edge of the loft. He’s got the rope snubbed to the cross-pole of the I PULLED. Yeah, I pulled. Ike Harper seems loft, and on each end is a cougar, and if

  to have been created to foller directions.

  anybody asks me, I’ll orate aloud that them Looking back at it, I comes to the conclusion cats are peeved.

  that if I’d ’a’ killed the professor when I first

  “How did you get up-there, Mighty?”

  seen him, this world would have been sweeter.

  asks Magpie.

  As I said before, I pulled. Comes a

  “Up here? Say, this ain’t high to go—

  blinding flash of light, the yowl of a scared under them circumstances.”

  cougar, the splintering crash of overweighted

  “By Jove, that’s wonderful!” gasps timbers, and, as “Hip-Shot” Squires used to Lord Washburn. “Cawn’t we get them as they say, “—— took a recess.”

  are, professor? It will be instructive in a way, It appeared that one of them cougars

  don’t you think?”

  came unto my bosom, and I sure took it in. I

  “Um-m-m-m,” says Aloysius, and then

  went high, wide and handsome, and got

  he nods. “A still!” he exclaims. “Wait until I clawed from heels to dandruff. Something got set up the other camera.”

  me by the feet and something got me by the

  ‘He comes back with a different outfit,

  head, and they pulled opposite directions. The and sets it up inside the doorway. Them two feet end of me was pointed towards the door, cats just set there and spit. After Aloysius gets and whatever the power was on that end—it

  through looking through the rigging, he gets won.

  awful excited.

  I remembers skidding on the seat of

  “Wonderful

  opportunity,”

  he

  my pants off our door-step and down that

  announces. “I will make several exposures. I danged hill. I hooked my feet against a rock, will have Bettina, Lord Washburn, Mrs. Van and then the power on my neck raises me

  Fleet, the guide and the chef in the picture upright and yanks me upside down again, and with the lions. Immense!”

  all this time I’m locked in deadly combat with

  Tippecanoe and Cougars Two 13

  that danged cougar.

  has opened his clothes all the way down his Suddenly we stops in a blaze of glory.

  back; but Aloysius don’t mind. He’s trying to I dodges a flock of stars and tries to set up.

  set that moving-picture camera and all the Then the cougar in which I have my teeth,

  while he’s singing, soft and low:

  fingers and spurs seems to set a precedent of natural history when it says in a faint voice—

  “Daha-a-a-a-ling,

  I

  am

  gro-o-o-o-wing

  “Well, by ——, I hope we stay o-o-o-o-old, stopped!”

  Sweet Alice with ha-air so-o-o-o brown,

  I unhooks from said cougar and looks

  Through the sycamo-o-o-o-res the candle-

  into the peaceful face of Magpie Simpkins.

  lights are gleaming,

  “I thought you was a cougar,” says I.

  The moss-covered bu-u-u-u-u-cket that hung He looks at me painful-like and says—

  in the well——“

  “Since when did you start eating raw

  cougars, Ike?”

  “My ——!” grunts Magpie. “He’s

  I didn’t answer him because I didn’t

  even absent-minded in his songs.”

  care to answer such fool questions. We both

  “He, he, he, he!” squeaks Tip,

  got up and started back for the cabin.

  hammering his hands on his knees. “Can’t that There was a sight for sore eyes. Them

  fellow jist make a banjo talk? Whoo-e-e-e-e-two cougars busted loose when the balcony

  e!”

  went down
, and they must ’a’ swept the cabin

  “Cawn’t some one do something?”

  clean with that rope.

  complains Lord Washburn. “This is

  Mum-maw has got the rope around her

  insufferable.”

  body, and is half under the machine. Lord

  I see mum-maw twitch her feet, and

  Washburn has got both feet twisted in the rope then she lets out a screech that skinned the and is standing on the back of his neck with yowl of a cougar four ways from the jack.

  his feet cinched up to the seat where one of

  “All ready! Camera!” snaps Aloysius,

  the cougars is reared back, trying to get loose.

  and he starts grinding on that machine.

  The other cougar is still fastened to the

  Then out of the door comes Bettina.

  other end of the rope and is about six feet She’s got her hat down over her eyes, but that away from the machine, all twisted up in that don’t matter, ’cause she wouldn’t have seen camera. Every time the cougar moves the Tip anyway. She just walked right over him camera moves, and then the cat wallops it with and lit sitting down in front of the cougar, and both paws while it searches the depths of its right behind her comes Mighty Jones.

  soul to try and find cat-talk enough to describe He’s got a section of that balcony